blog posts

feel free to give me feedback / advice in here!!

9-24-24

i'm still trying to put this website together, but since it will mainly be a blog, i figured i'd go ahead and write at least one post lol. it's september 24th, 2024, about 1 pm. i'm still at school, and kind of dreading going home. my dad is out of town right now, so at least there's that. i did, however, absolutely flunk my AP world test. just, undoubtedly. i even made all 77 of the flashcards she had us write!! i do have PT after school though, for my stupid hip. I have to get surgery for it, on october 10th, which I am kind of dreading. i did get this spot on my neck that I've picked at for literal years taken off yesterday, which is a relief I guess. I really only did cause of pressure from my parents, and it hurts really bad, and it won't stop me from picking at a different spot, but at least it's gone i guess. got that soul crushing feeling today like ever since i got dressed and i honestly don't even know why. i wish i ejoyed high school as much as everyone says i should. i found all the things my mom hid from me when i went to the hospital this morning. i didn't even take all of it back, just because it would seem suspicious if i did. anyway, i just feel gross/wrong in a way i can't really pin down. i really want out of this town.

9-30-24

i'm still at school right now (again), but this time i'm writing this to you live from ms. zhang's advisement. she's my friend ellain's mom, so it's cool. anyway, i am SOOO tired. i had a monster today but it seriously just does not even do anything. i feel the weight of like 1,000 assignments on my shoulders, and theyre all from ap world i stg. even further, i have the johns creek tournament this weekend and amelia JUST told me that not only are we only running policy (both on aff and neg), but that i am the 2a. LIKE BABE WHAT. so it's gonna be late nights for me this week T-T. my stupid neck hole hurts still, and my shirt keeps rubbing on it. i need the damn thing to just heal already, cause it's really annoying. i also have hoco this weekend, which will be fun if my pantsuit thingy ever gets here. also they delayed my psych testing results AGAIN. tired of USAmerican healthcare FR. anyway, i hope whoever's reading this (probably just me like 3 weeks from now) has a good day

it literally tok me two years to find this i finally found it; idk where the footage is from but i found an mp4 and put it on youtube so i could upload it here

10-1-24

live from alpharetta, it's tuesday afternoon! i really only say that cuz i never know how to start these lmao. anyway im in 6th period rn and some kid got yoinked cuz i think he stole airpods or something? idek. anywayyy ive been putting off doing my stupid aff work for johns creek so of course i have to do that today (ugh). i do have suzanne tho, and i think im getting my nails fixed, which should be fun haha. i think i did well on my ap world leq as well. i hope. anyway, i hope the rest of today just like isn't a shitshow? i can't really ask for a whole lot more than that. update: its now 8th period and i completely forgot about a separate stupid debate assignment that i now have to do (please someone kill me). at least ive got an appointment with The Nibbler (ordered one from zaxbys) (i fuckin love zaxbys)

10-2-24

today is my mom's birthday!! this morning was pretty good cuz i gave her my gift and we got coffee! school has been tiring but we determined at lunch that joseph is the sam to my dean, and that jude is also very much sam lol. im in 7th period rn and im bored out of my minddddd. which i really shouldnt be given the amount of work i have to do. ugh. although after school im getting my hair dyed which i am rly excited for!!

10-19-24

sorry i like totally fell off the face of the earth (addressed to all 0 people who read this), I got major hip surgery to fix a labral tear and they also ended up like shaving off a bunch of bone but they didn't even let me keep it :( lame as hell. anyway ive been in the same room for like 2 weeks cuz i cant walk teehee......but on a happy note we have confirmed MCR and FOB tonight!!!!!!! im kinda losing it not gonna like. But Seriously Imagine It...... i mean its just. stars aligning lmfao. anyway im sittin here waitin on my egg fried rice, idk much else but i have to go back to school monday which im not thrilled abt cuz yk. the whole cant walk thing. HOWEVER!!!! I GET TO GO TO THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY SCREENING OF SAW TOMORROW!!!! i finally convinced my dad to go with me after i asked literally all of my friends and they all said no :( BUT I STILL GET TO GO!!!! anyway ttyl :3

10-21-24

forgot to post yesterday but WERE SO BACK I LOVE MCR SO MUCH HAKDFGAHLEFGBHSDVCFSDL THE LIFE METAPHORS. THE DAHLIA. THE ELEVEN OF SWORDS. THE PRAYER. THE KNIFE THING!!!! RAHHHHH ok we r chill now. yea. my dad was really shitty about saw and kinda ruined it for me (after id kinda ruined it for myself already lmao) but he said this thing about saw being why i was in the hospital that just made me really upset. yea idk. school was hell on crutches aaaaaaaaaaaaaa i literally bruised my armpits this is evil!!! life laugh loving that I have insane amounts of homework. pray 4 me

10-22-24

nothing i have ever done in my entire life is as exhausting as school on crutches. im not joking when i say that every step i take witht hem i feel in my boobs because my shoulder muscles have straight quit at this point. went to pt yesterday and she did cupping? came back w purple so dark i thought it was black. ALSO HOWEVER MR GOATS HIMSELF LIKED MY POST ON BLUESKY YEA THATS RIGHT JOHN DARNIELLE LIKED MY POST. IM NEVER GONNA RECOVER. ITS SO BACK WE R SO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!